The Dirt Road to Paradise

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed." 1 Peter 3-7

Gardens at Imbabazi in Rwanda

There are gardens at a former orphanage in Rwanda which sit on a foothill at the bottom of a volcano. The only way to get to this beautiful paradise is a long, windy, bumpy dirt road. Although the road is only a few miles long, driving down it is a long process due to its poor condition. But the gardens are an incredible sight, and the journey down the bumpy dirt road is suddenly forgotten when you take in your first breath while standing before the awe-inspiring landscape.

*****

When I traveled to Rwanda in May of 2012, I nearly missed visiting this orphanage. I was not feeling very well that day, and, due to illness, I feared the long bus ride on the bumpy dirt road. That morning at breakfast, I wavered between whether to go with the team or stay at the hotel. I ultimately decided to brave the adventure and face the bumpy dirt road.

Had I stayed at the hotel, I would have missed the brightly colored flowers, the crisp fog over the volcano's shadow, the joyful playing of music with the children, and the luscious green landscape that was so carefully tended to by the groundskeepers. Had I stayed at the hotel, I would have missed a glimpse of paradise.

So often, I catch Christians (including myself) praying asking God to "pave a path" for us. While praying for God to reveal His Will to those who love Him is good to practice, this particular wording of the prayer is the part which has begun to trip me up: "pave a path."

What if God's intended route for us to His paradise is not a smoothly paved path, but a bumpy dirt road?

Looking at the life of Jesus, His path to the Father's Will was certainly not a smooth one. He faced ridicule, persecution, and even death in order that God's Sovereign Will would come to pass. Jesus' life was none other than a bumpy dirt road- perhaps even the bumpiest dirt road any person has ever had to walk! He was completely innocent of wrongdoing, yet carried every single sin which we have ever committed and have yet to commit with him on the Cross. Now that is a bumpy dirt road.

The Archbishop of Cambrai, France, during the seventeenth century, Francois de Salignac de La Mothe Fenelon, was a spiritual advisor to a handful of members of the Court of Louis the Fourteenth. To these individuals, he wrote a letter containing the following statements regarding bearing our own crosses of hardship, as Jesus did for us:

"A cross which comes from God ought to be welcomed without any concern for self. And when you accept your cross this way, even though it is painful, you will find that you can bear it in peace. But when you receive your cross unwillingly, you will find it to be doubly severe. The resistance within is harder to bear than the cross itself! But if you recognize the hand of God, and make no opposition to His Will, you will have peace in the midst of affliction."

 As followers of Christ, we have to be willing to take the bumpy dirt road. The road may require extra travel time, and we may have to endure several bumps along the way. It will require endurance. It will require relying on God's strength. But the Destination! The Paradise waiting at the end is worth it!

Imagine you are a child taking a ten-hour road trip with your family to Disney World. Those ten hours... in the car... as a child... while anticipating arrival at "the happiest place on earth..." likely feel like the most grueling ten hours of your life. You are constantly questioning, "Are we there yet?" But when that fateful moment comes, and you arrive, the ten-hour car ride is pushed to the very back of your mind. Your focus shifts to the excitement of where you are and who you are going to see (Mickey Mouse)!

I imagine arrival in Heaven will be a similar, yet far more glorious, experience. Suddenly, the bumpy dirt road will not matter anymore. It will be completely forgotten. Instead, our focus will lie on Our Brilliant Creator with whom we finally have the chance to see face to face and spend eternity with! Where you are and Who you are going to see will take precedence over the journey it took to get there.

Until that day, we may be required to travel down a few bumpy dirt roads. We may be required to bear more than a few crosses. But do not resist those crosses. Carry them with dignity. Have perspective to know that you carry them with a Great Purpose.

*****

Gardens at Imbabazi in Rwanda

There are gardens at a former orphanage in Rwanda which sit on a foothill at the bottom of a volcano. The only way to get to this beautiful paradise is a long, windy, bumpy dirt road. Although the road is only a few miles long, driving down it is a long process due to its poor condition. But the gardens are an incredible sight, and the journey down the bumpy dirt road is suddenly forgotten when you take in your first breath while standing before the awe-inspiring landscape.

Cambodia - July 28, 2013

[The following post is an excerpt from my journal as I traveled to Cambodia. The inconsistency in the entry title and datestamp is due to limited internet access while I was on the trip. These experiences were documented in real time, and I am posting photoblogs now that I have returned. In order to protect all those involved with the organization that rescues children from sex slavery and works to prevent others from being trafficked, I have intentionally omitted specific names and locations.]

Sunday, July 28, 2013 - Phnom Penh, Cambodia

"If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing." 1 Corinthians 13:1-3

I've heard the more you give love, the more capacity you have to love. Loving is a self-sustaining process. I believe this to be true, much like the competitors in the annual July 4th Hot Dog Eating Contest on Coney Island train for the contest by stretching their stomachs and, thus, their capacity to eat hot dogs quickly. We give love in order that we can love bigger.

This has proven itself to be very true in my life. It seems that the wider spread my love goes, the wider my capacity to love becomes. I now have pieces of my heart in the North America, Africa, and Asia, and I feel like I have so much more love to give. My heart is overflowing, almost to a literal sense! I want to show love to every person I see!

But, the funny thing about love is, it often requires a conscious choice. Often it is not the natural response. Scars can inhibit us from giving love because we are afraid it will not be handled with care. Loving is vulnerable.

In his book The Four Loves, C.S. Lewis said, "To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable."

Believe me- locking your heart in a safe is no way to live. I've tried it. It removes the very purpose God created us for. And without purpose, we have nothing to live for. If we refuse to be vulnerable enough to love others and, instead, lock our heart away in a dark casket, nothing we say carries weight any longer.

God created us to love. Our entire being is meant to give Him honor and glory. He commands us, out of that honor and glory, to build disciples of all nations. Choose to love. Choose to be vulnerable.

The possibility of a wrung or broken heart can be terrifying, especially to those with scars from past hurts. To those with particularly sensitive hearts, loving is a great risk. But the beauty of pure, uninhibited love is being willing to have your heart mangled in the process of showing others who Jesus is. We can be confident that in such obedience, God, the Ultimate Healer, will heal any resulting scabs or bruises and make our hearts more complete than they were to begin with.

Finding Security in God

 "Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
   my hope comes from him.
 He alone is my rock and my salvation;
   he is my fortress, I will not be shaken" 
Psalm 62:5-6

We are a people who tend to worry. We worry about about whether or not we remembered to set the alarm clock for the correct time. We worry about not having enough time. We worry about not having enough money. We worry about whether or not our boss will notice us strolling into work a few minutes late. We worry about what clothes to wear. We worry about whether or not the person we just met enjoyed our company. Let's face it: insecurities have, at one point or another, ruled our lives.

Several months ago, I witnessed a woman getting measurements taken at a dress shop. When the seamstress told the woman what size she needed, the woman burst into tears because the number was larger than she expected. Why do numbers have such an affect on individuals? Why do others' opinions control how we look and act? Why do insecurities cripple us? The good news is: They don't have to.

Most insecurities are able to be classified in one of two categories: uncertainty and image. When we worry about whether or not we will have sufficient money to pay the bills, or getting into college, or getting a job, or finding a spouse, we are insecure about the uncertainty that the future holds. When we worry about whether or not our professors or bosses like us, or how we did in the interview, or how much we weigh, or what to wear, we are insecure about our image. Insecurities are everywhere. I imagine that Satan certainly enjoys using these little tools to keep us from our Creator. Insecurities are detrimental to our faith because insecurities cause us to worry, and worry is the opposite of faith.

In Isaiah 7:9, the Lord says, "If you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all." Thus, we have a responsibility to combat our insecurities. This sounds so simple, yet application can be extremely difficult. We can even be insecure about our abilities to rid ourselves of insecurity. Before we realize it, Satan has woven us into a tangled web of self destruction that we refuse to believe we will ever be freed from. Gratefully, God's word can provide that freedom.

Insecurities that stem from uncertainty have a simple Biblical solution. In the famous Sermon on the Mount, Jesus teaches about worry. He says, "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?" (Matthew 6:26). In other words, if you think you are more valuable than a bird, then start acting like it! Birds do not worry about uncertainty, so you shouldn't either! Instead of putting your hope in what is uncertain, put your hope in God.

Insecurities that come from image are generally tougher to tackle. Our flesh tends to lie to us when it comes to self-image. And no, contrary to popular belief, this concept does not apply solely to women. Men can have just as many (if not more) image-based insecurities as women. I've known men with eating disorders, others who are addicted to working out, and others who take longer than the average woman to get ready in the morning. [As an aside, let me assure you, it does not make you any less of a man to be insecure about your image; It simply makes you human!] Regardless of what type of self-image you have, the Bible teaches that beauty is within. First Samuel 16:7 says, "Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

Sure, we can read this Scripture over and over again and still dislike ourselves. Our culture has set a standard for beauty, and even though that standard is a complete lie, we buy into it and refuse to let go. In a self defense class I took in college, the professor asked the class what would be safer: to walk home at night on a sidewalk or through an field. After all of the students answered with the sidewalk option, the professor corrected us. He explained that many times, sidewalks are lined up against bushes, streets, or buildings where it would be possible for an attacker to hide, sneak up on you, and take you out of sight in a matter of seconds. In a field, you would have the advantage of being able to spot an attacker long before any physical contact may occur. My perspective was shifted. The world was telling me that the sidewalk was the safer place, when in reality, that was not necessarily true. The world tells us how to define beauty, when in reality, the world's definition is flawed. The world certainly has us fooled.

I recently finished reading the book of Job, and since then, I cannot stop thinking about the Lord's monologue in Job 38-39 when God challenges Job with questions. He asks, "Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation?" and says, "Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth? Tell me, if you know all this." In a nutshell, the Lord is scolding Job for complaining and trying to justify his own righteousness rather than trusting in God. Something tells me that if God were to come down and speak on the topic of worldly beauty it would go something like this: "Who are you, world, to define beauty? Who are you, world, to claim that people should be a certain size or should dress a certain way? Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation? Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth?" I would imagine that these questions would go on for quite a while as God makes His point clear.

We can cling to worldly things and people who make us feel secure, but if they get pulled away, were they ever secure to begin with? If your security comes from your job, what happens when you get laid off? If your security comes from a significant other, what happens when you break up? If your security comes from having a nice car, what happens when it gets stolen? False security is the source of insecurities! Quit relying on false security, and start relying on God. Let Him be your fortress. With Him, you will not be shaken.

This Is My Story

Come and see what God has done,
   how awesome his works in man’s behalf!
Psalm 66:5

My existence alone is a miracle. My birth was induced when I stopped receiving nourishment due to a misshapen placenta. Nearly sixteen years later, I began a journey living alongside the One who has now saved me from both literal and figurative death.

My life as a Christian began with music. Shortly after stumbling upon a Christian radio station, one of my high school classmates invited me to church. I recognized the worship music from the radio and instantly connected. My perception of church shifted from being a ritualistic ceremony to being a community who loves God and loves people. I began looking forward to Sunday mornings and entered into a relationship with Christ.

After a year of church involvement, I went away to a secular liberal arts university and suddenly found myself lost in an atmosphere that was quick to give into fleshly desires. I called myself a Christian, but my lifestyle did not resemble Christ in the least. After a series of miracles (which I plan to elaborate on in future posts), God reeled me back onto His straight and narrow path. I am now a young professional doing my best to glorify God in all I do.

I've always been a left brain thinker. I loved my math and science classes in school and never cared for my English or writing classes. In fact, I majored in math and now work as an actuary. Although I've never enjoyed writing as an assignment, from time to time I am inspired to write for fun. It has been an outlet for my thoughts, but I tend to be extremely timid about sharing my writings with others. You can only guess how surprised I was when God began tugging at my heart to begin writing publicly! I am a firm believer that God has a rather large sense of humor, and this is certainly one of His more humorous callings for my life! 

However, no matter how humorous the call, I must answer.  In fact, I must do better than merely answer the call. Answering a phone call implies agreeing to talk with someone who is initiating a conversation with you about an often unknown topic. Returning a call goes one step further; you now have control of initiating the conversation and committing to the topic. God has called. I can choose to ignore it, or I can choose to return it. This blog is my choice.