Returning His Call: Cambodia

[The following post is an excerpt from my journal as I traveled to Cambodia. The inconsistency in the entry title and datestamp is due to limited internet access while I was on the trip. These experiences were documented in real time, and I am posting photoblogs now that I have returned. In order to protect all those involved with the organization that rescues children from sex slavery and works to prevent others from being trafficked, I have intentionally omitted specific names and locations.]

Tuesday, July 16, 2013 - Phnom Penh, Cambodia

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

As I walked up to the plain cement building covered in barbed wire, I felt it- a heaviness. I sensed there was something evil inside.

I am spending the morning at the Teoul Sleng S-21 genocide museum, a former school which was transformed into a prison used for torture and mass killing during the Khmer Rouge in the 1970's. This particular building still had the individual prisoners' cells sectioned off inside. There were chains attached to the walls and blood stains on the floor. Some of the cells were made of brick, and others were made of wood. However, despite the different building materials, they had several commonalities among them- they were all small, dark, unwelcoming, and lonely.

As I walked into the building, my heart grew even more heavy. I could feel the fear, pain, and hopelessness. Somehow, although there were several others visiting the compound that day, I had peeled away from the crowd and walked through this building completely alone. There was literally no human in sight. For a moment, I believe I felt a glimpse of the exact same solidarity and fear the prisoners of S-21 felt. Satan still had a presence in that place, and he was trying to weasel his deceitful emotions into my soul.

My heart dropped to my feet, and I immediately started to pray.

Then the Lord helped me to remember.

I never have to feel that type of fear for myself! I never have to experience solidarity! I never have to experience hopelessness! The Lord Our God made these promises to me, and He is the greatest promise keeper of all! In fact, He made these promises to anyone who will follow Him!

Reality check.

Now, I may feel fear from time to time. I may feel alone from time to time. I may even feel hopeless from time to time. But once I finish getting over myself and quit buying into the evil one's lies, I will gratefully remember that those emotions are not from God. Once I turn toward Him and seek His face, these emotions will subside, as they have so many times before. His faithfulness is overwhelming.

[The following pictures depict the cells. Keep in mind these were taken with flash to capture the structure of the cells. To the naked eye, hardly any natural light creeps underneath the covered hallway and into the small windows. The darkness is threatening.]

[The following are additional pictures taken the same day from both Teoul Sleng S-21 Genecide Museum and the Choeung Ek Killing Fields, which is a genocide memorial that contains mass graves of victims of the Khmer Rouge. Several of the images are graphic in nature, so proceed with caution.]