12:40 PM Central Africa Time - Noel Orphanage; Gisenyi, Rwanda
"For though I am absent in body, yet I am with you in spirit, rejoicing to see your good order and the firmness of your faith in Christ." Colossians 2:5
I just gave one of the hardest goodbyes of my life. My sweet Kazuba is off to school for the afternoon, so I will not get to see her again before we leave for Kigali tomorrow. What a birthday gift- to experience that kind of love. All day, Kazuba kept asking me, "You go to Kigali tomorrow?" It was almost as if she hoped I would eventually change my answer and stay. We spent some good quality time together, but she kept slipping away for several minutes at a time. I was told that the kids do this when they are upset. They get bullied at the orphanage when they cry, so they try their best not to get upset in public.
When I was walking Kazuba to the front gate as she was leaving for school, she was trying really hard to tell me something in English, but I could not understand her. I grabbed our guide, Jane, and asked her to translate for me. My heart sunk. Kazuba was asking me if I was coming back. I cannot make empty promises, and at this point, I do not know whether or not I will ever get the opportunity to go back to Rwanda. I could only tell her, "I hope to, but I do not know if I will be able to come back." I nearly choked on these words because I wanted so much to be able to tell her with great confidence, "Yes, I will come back to see you." Instead, I left her with all I could think of to say which was "Nda gukunda cyane" [ndah goo-koon-dah chah-nay] which means "I love you very much."
Rewind. This morning was a different tone than the rest. At our team meeting, the leaders told us that since today is our last day at Noel, quality time is most important. They encouraged us to pour out whatever love we had left to give and use our time in the best way we could think to do so. That being said, we decided to make the morning into one huge worship session. We sat under the awning of one of the girls dorms with our guitars and sang/played our hearts out. As we made music, the kids came in and filled the gaps in our laps and between us. Sweet Mutoni sat next to my left side and was smiling her giant smile the entire time. I could not help but break out in joyful laughter watching her worship. She has such an infectious smile. Lilliane sat on my right, soaking in the music. At one point, Kazuba came out of nowhere and layed her head in my lap. I wish I could bottle that moment and take it with me wherever I go.
We had our last lunch at Tara's house. Sweet Jane goes above and beyond her job of a guide and translator. She has become a part of our family. For example, our first lunch at Tara's house consisted of "chips" [AKA french fries] but no ketchup. One of the team members is very fond of ketchup, Jane picked up on that, and sure enough- the very next day, there was ketchup at lunch. Today, Jane's selflessness was no different. Desserts in Rwanda usually consist of fresh fruit. Well, today there was cake at lunch. Conveniently...on my birthday...there was cake. When one of the team members asked if she did that purposefully, she just smiled; Of course she did. She never stops giving. I hope to grow to be more aware of others in the way that Jane is. Unexpected gestures mean so much more than any word could ever say.
As the lunch hour closed, we prayed over the girls that will be moving into the new house. The girls held stoic expressions on their faces as we explained that we wanted to pray for them and bless their new home. It is engrained in their brains that is is not okay to cry, so as a result, they chose to show no emotion at all. We layed hands on them and prayed blessings and protection over them while Jane translated. By the end of the prayer, there was not a single dry eye in the house. Tears of joy welled up in our eyes. The presence of the Holy Spirit had so thickly permeated the room and clenched a fist around our hearts. Ange, one of the girls who made one of the bags that I bought, ran out of the room as she pulled her sweater over her face. Tara went after her and assured her that it was okay to cry. A couple of minutes later, she came back into the room with her tear-stained cheeks. This was another difficult goodbye. I have thoroughly enjoyed spending time with these ambitious women. Each and every one is an inspiration. They are such hard workers and are 100% sold out to using their new career skills to give back [Read more about the sewing school in this post].
We also provided Noel with a truck full of food (worth around $800). We were told that this food would only last them a little over one day. Blows. my. mind.
Jane has outdone herself again. She found a restaurant in Gisenyi at the Palm Gardens Resort that is on a stunningly beautiful property. The resort looks over Lake Kivu, which is where they catch the fresh fish that they serve. Tonight is a celebration for many reasons. We are celebrating the family that we have become over these past several days, we are celebrating birthdays (mine as well as Frank's sponsored daughter, Amelie whose birthday is in a few days), and, most of all, we are celebrating love of orphans.
Twenty-three. It has been my favorite number as long as I can remember. Now, it is my age. I have always known that something special would happen in my twenty-third year of life. I thought that perhaps it would be the year I would fall in love...
...I was right...
...I have fallen in love.
I have fallen in love with Kimisagara, Best Family, Imbabazi, and Noel Orphanages. I have fallen in love with the cities of Kigali and Gisenyi. I have fallen in love with the rolling green mountains blanketed underneath cottonball clouds. I have fallen in love with countless orphans who have helped shape my understanding of what love even means. I have fallen in love with Rwanda.
As close as my heart has grown to this place, I feel ready to head home. As hard as it is to say goodbye, I know I must. I pray that I use my experiences here to better my home country. I pray that I am not quick to forget. I pray that a piece of me stays here in the hearts of all the people I have encountered. On the other hand, I pray that a piece of each person I have encountered stays in my heart. Most of all, I pray that I have and will resemble Jesus in all I do. I pray that these people have grown to know Him better through my love. Simply love.
 |
| Kazuba heading to school |
"My heart is steadfast, O God;
I will sing and make music with all my soul."
I will sing and make music with all my soul."
Psalm 108:1
Rewind. This morning was a different tone than the rest. At our team meeting, the leaders told us that since today is our last day at Noel, quality time is most important. They encouraged us to pour out whatever love we had left to give and use our time in the best way we could think to do so. That being said, we decided to make the morning into one huge worship session. We sat under the awning of one of the girls dorms with our guitars and sang/played our hearts out. As we made music, the kids came in and filled the gaps in our laps and between us. Sweet Mutoni sat next to my left side and was smiling her giant smile the entire time. I could not help but break out in joyful laughter watching her worship. She has such an infectious smile. Lilliane sat on my right, soaking in the music. At one point, Kazuba came out of nowhere and layed her head in my lap. I wish I could bottle that moment and take it with me wherever I go.
We had our last lunch at Tara's house. Sweet Jane goes above and beyond her job of a guide and translator. She has become a part of our family. For example, our first lunch at Tara's house consisted of "chips" [AKA french fries] but no ketchup. One of the team members is very fond of ketchup, Jane picked up on that, and sure enough- the very next day, there was ketchup at lunch. Today, Jane's selflessness was no different. Desserts in Rwanda usually consist of fresh fruit. Well, today there was cake at lunch. Conveniently...on my birthday...there was cake. When one of the team members asked if she did that purposefully, she just smiled; Of course she did. She never stops giving. I hope to grow to be more aware of others in the way that Jane is. Unexpected gestures mean so much more than any word could ever say.
As the lunch hour closed, we prayed over the girls that will be moving into the new house. The girls held stoic expressions on their faces as we explained that we wanted to pray for them and bless their new home. It is engrained in their brains that is is not okay to cry, so as a result, they chose to show no emotion at all. We layed hands on them and prayed blessings and protection over them while Jane translated. By the end of the prayer, there was not a single dry eye in the house. Tears of joy welled up in our eyes. The presence of the Holy Spirit had so thickly permeated the room and clenched a fist around our hearts. Ange, one of the girls who made one of the bags that I bought, ran out of the room as she pulled her sweater over her face. Tara went after her and assured her that it was okay to cry. A couple of minutes later, she came back into the room with her tear-stained cheeks. This was another difficult goodbye. I have thoroughly enjoyed spending time with these ambitious women. Each and every one is an inspiration. They are such hard workers and are 100% sold out to using their new career skills to give back [Read more about the sewing school in this post].
4:45 PM Central Africa Time - Noel Orphanage; Gisenyi, Rwanda
This afternoon was a blur. Emotions are heavy. I already long to see my sweet girls again, but I have to accept that, at least for now, goodbye is in the past. I hung out with some of the older girls that I bonded with over yesterday's dance party in their dorm. They even sang "Happy Birthday" to me in Kinyarwanda, which I was able to get on video so I can watch it for years to come. I was also surprised to receive several handwritten notes from my girls! It made me laugh to read my misspelled name; they spelled it exactly how they were saying it in their accents: "Emmy." I will cherish those sweet letters, and, despite a few tears, I will cherish the memory of my best birthday to date! I would not trade it for any other experience!
We also provided Noel with a truck full of food (worth around $800). We were told that this food would only last them a little over one day. Blows. my. mind.
Because of the heavy nature of the afternoon, and because most of my girls were at school, I withdrew myself from the action to quietly reflect while I took several candid photographs of the other team members.
I was able to freeze images of everyone loving how they love best, and believe me- they were in "super love mode" today. So much joy and light was captured by my camera.
8:45 PM Central Africa Time - Hotel Dian Fossey; Gisenyi, Rwanda
Jane has outdone herself again. She found a restaurant in Gisenyi at the Palm Gardens Resort that is on a stunningly beautiful property. The resort looks over Lake Kivu, which is where they catch the fresh fish that they serve. Tonight is a celebration for many reasons. We are celebrating the family that we have become over these past several days, we are celebrating birthdays (mine as well as Frank's sponsored daughter, Amelie whose birthday is in a few days), and, most of all, we are celebrating love of orphans.
Twenty-three. It has been my favorite number as long as I can remember. Now, it is my age. I have always known that something special would happen in my twenty-third year of life. I thought that perhaps it would be the year I would fall in love...
...I was right...
...I have fallen in love.
I have fallen in love with Kimisagara, Best Family, Imbabazi, and Noel Orphanages. I have fallen in love with the cities of Kigali and Gisenyi. I have fallen in love with the rolling green mountains blanketed underneath cottonball clouds. I have fallen in love with countless orphans who have helped shape my understanding of what love even means. I have fallen in love with Rwanda.
As close as my heart has grown to this place, I feel ready to head home. As hard as it is to say goodbye, I know I must. I pray that I use my experiences here to better my home country. I pray that I am not quick to forget. I pray that a piece of me stays here in the hearts of all the people I have encountered. On the other hand, I pray that a piece of each person I have encountered stays in my heart. Most of all, I pray that I have and will resemble Jesus in all I do. I pray that these people have grown to know Him better through my love. Simply love.
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